It’s been less than a week and you already occupy my thoughts. Your scent lingers around my lips and your beauty is embedded in my spirit. I don’t know why this is occurring so fast – your familiarity scares me deeply. Men like you have come and gone, but none of them were quite like you so I’m confused.
I want to recluse to a place more comfortable. A place where I have options and other men serve as distractions and your perfect silhouette is a mere shadow. I don’t want to see you in the light that you portray because my darkness is filled with so much pain. Fear taps my shoulder with every glimmer of hope that you might be the guy I’ve hoped for. My heart won’t let me explore you fully.
I will never ask you your thoughts because it’ll be so easy for you deceive me – especially at this stage. So I wait for you to reach out your hand and pull me up from this dark hollow pit. My heart bleeds and tears compensate for the strength that I once had and the innocence that I’ve lost. I’m scared.
I wish you could hold me for real, because in my thoughts I nestle so comfortably in your arms as you assure me that you’re real. In the same breath, I sigh with mixed emotion. I am not sure where to turn and my thoughts are disillusioned. I’m hopeful, yet fearful of you.
After all, I am an emotional prostitute.
